If you missed the previous posts in this series – Read them here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4
I was going to have inner peace if I had to break a few heads to do it. -Erma Bombeck
More Peace
I have been on a mission lately to bring more peace into my life – in many areas.
We all want more peace in our lives – don’t we?
What does that look like? How do I attain that?
PEACE (defined by Merriam-Webster):
- a state of tranquility or quiet;
- freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions
- harmony is personal relations
In many areas, peace seems to come more naturally and easily than in other areas. For me, I can tend to have more unrest in my emotions surrounding cleaning and household chores than in dealing with finances. Why?. . . Because I really don’t like to clean (OK – it’s more like – I HATE to clean! ie – I feel “frustrated”) but I have always loved working with money and numbers. Like I talked about in the 1st part of this series – this “frustration (ie – decreased peace) is a sign you are not getting your way” or something is out of your control. That frustration is telling you something – so listen to it! (It tells me, that if I had my way – I would have someone to clean my house for me . . . but for now, on one income, that just isn’t a possibility.)
So what do I do then to find (more) peace?
There are many ways – practical and spiritual. In regards to cleaning, kids and chores – this is what I’ve decided . . .
*If I don’t enjoy it – I’m not going to do it!
“That’s nice – but it’s not totally practical or achievable, Lori!”
Some things do have to be done that I don’t necessarily enjoy . . .
But what this statement does is causes me to reevaluate:
- What am I doing?
- Why am I doing it?
- Is there a way to either do it differently . . .
- or a way to not do it at all?
- If I have to do it – can I change my attitude about it?
Use these questions to evaluate the areas where you don’t have peace – and make some decisions or plans to change things as needed.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr
Eliminating non-essentials
Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.
― Yutang Lin, The Importance Of Living
I LOVE this quote! I’ve had it posted in my bathroom for years (as I really do need to be constantly reminded!).
In addition to letting go of things that others can/should have responsibility for:
- Are there things that you can cut out (let go) of your own daily/weekly schedule or “to-do” list?
- Do you HAVE to do it all?
- What will happen if you don’t?
- Are you doing things only because you feel you “should”? Who says you should? Others? The media? You? Your spouse? Your mother’s voice inside your head?
*I want to challenge you this week to write a master “NOT to-do list” and post it so that you are not tempted to feel guilty about not doing those things.
It really is ok to not “do it all”!
In fact – I give you permission to stop doing things just because everyone else does them or you feel you “should”! This can include scrapbooking, signing your kids up for too many activities – especially at such young ages, cooking fancy meals, cleaning too often/much to have that “perfect house”, etc.
To give you some ideas – Here are some of my “Not to-do” items:
- Iron (very rarely)
- Do laundry every day
- Put away my kids’ clothes (I’ll post more about these 1st three in a post on laundry)
- Make my kid’s lunches
- Drive left items (backpacks, lunches, papers, etc) up to my kids’ schools (They get 1 “free” time each school year. After that – it’s their responsibility).
- Spend my days cleaning – especially if I have the opportunity to get together with a friend or do something else!
- Nag my kids about papers needing to be signed, returned, etc.
- Accept guilt someone tries to make me feel.
- Let society (“others”) determine how I should best parent my own kids
- And many more!
What can you eliminate? What can you put on your “not to-do” list?
Pursue Peace
Psalm 34:12-14 – Whoever of you loves life
and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from telling lies.
Turn from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
Peace will not just happen . . . God tells us to pursue it. This is active – not passive. We like to pray for peace – and God does love to give us his Peace that passes all our understanding. But how do we get it?
Philippians 4:6-8 – Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
In EVERYTHING – give thanks (yes – even in the times I have to clean! I am thankful that I have the capability and resources to even be able to clean and have a clean house!)!
With thanksgiving (not grumbling! {ouch!})- take things to God in prayer – release them into His hands – and let His peace fill you up!
CHOOSE to trust . . . even when you don’t “feel” it sometimes.
God’s peace is found in thankfulness, choosing to trust and releasing – and you can have it in EVERY situation!
Romans 15:13 – May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I have four kids and I’ve run the gamut from strict chore charts to weekly jobs. What I’ve realized is 1) yes I don’t have to do it all and 2) perfection is not necessary. It’s about teaching my kids responsibility not perfection. Great post! (new follower from (in)courage)
Amen! You might get a kick out of this post then too – Perfection or Excellence? Obedience or Honor?
Thanks for stopping on by today!
@shanmilholland – Great reply (sorry so late in replying to your reply! 🙂 hee,hee Don’t know what happened there! sorry.). Your kids will be so much better off “owning” a part of the family (chores, responsibilities, attitudes, etc). You are doing a GREAT job at teaching them some awesome life-skills! 🙂
I am going to get up and have my quiet time with the Lord and then I am going to pray that He would show me all the areas that bring me total frustration and a lack of peace! Then I will go through your steps to try and train myself to stay calm/ cool and only own what I decide to own!! LOVE your blogs!! God bless you for sharing your experiences and what you have learned. As a mom, it is so important for us to have encouragement and support….you just encouraged me!! Take care!!
Dena=)
Dena –
Thank you for letting me know that my blogs have blessed you! It encourages me to continue to share what I go through as a mom to support and encourage others. I have not been blogging this past month as life threw some unexpected turns and priorities had to shift . . .but I’m hoping to get back to blogging again soon!
Enjoy your time with the Lord! I couldn’t be a good mom without it!