Children Learn What They Live
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn . . .
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight . . .
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive . . .
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself . . .
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy . . .
If a child lives with jealousy (some versions say shame), he learns to feel guilt . . .
BUT
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient . . .
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident . . .
If a child lives with praise , he learns to be appreciative . . .
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love . . .
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is . . .
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice . . .
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him . . .
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live . . .
WITH WHAT IS YOUR CHILD LIVING?
Dorothy L. Law (1959)
What is your child living with?
What a good question! Hmm . . . makes me stop and evaluate my own house. 🙂
The above poem was printed in the Torrance Schools Board of Education newsletter on April 1st, 1959. I have seen various versions on the web and in print, and they all present good food for thought.
So – What is your child living with – and what evidence do you see that it is affecting your child (good or bad)?
What character traits do you want to see in your child?
I know we all want to see the “good” ones – confidence, patience, love, truthfulness, etc. But I also know that we do not always see these things. It is so easy to point the finger at the child – to think that they just need to get their act together, to obey, be more patient, to listen and learn more, be more accepting, etc. But in the 16 years I’ve been raising kids so far, one thing I’ve learned (the hard way) is that a lot of my kid’s behavior, attitudes, and character traits are a direct result of the environment they are living in (good and bad!).
Yes – all 5 kid my kids are different – and some of them were just born more compassionate than others. Some were born leaders, and others enjoy following and helping out more. Some are outspoken and tell you exactly what is on their mind, and others – you don’t have a clue if they are happy, sad, mad or just disinterested. So, there is a lot that is based on who they are, their temperment and how God made them.
But I do not discount the huge impact we as parents have on our kids lives and their character development.
The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree
I know you’ve heard that saying, and it really is true in many ways.
I remember hearing my preschool daughter gruffly say to her sibling one day,”MOVE!” when she wanted to get by. I immediately talked to her about how that is not the polite way to ask someone to move – that she should say “Excuse me please” instead. She understood and we practiced it, but I thought, “Man – where did she get that from?”
Two days later I was in the kitchen and needed to get by one of my kids to get into the fridge.
“Move.”
What? Where did that come from? Who said that? Surely no one would be so impolite in this house. We had talked about this.
But the voice sounded familiar. Too familiar.
It was mine.
“Oh my goodness . . . . she learned it from me!” I was shocked. Did I really just say that? Had I been saying it all along (or maybe I learned it from her?! 🙂 hee,hee)?
I quickly learned to look at myself and my behavior when I saw things in my kids (good or bad)!
What do you see/hear at your house?
I want to encourage you this week, pay attention (take notes!) on what you are seeing and hearing at your house. Where is it coming from? What can you do, or change, to positively affect and teach your kids about good character.
Remember though . . . they will learn more by what they see us do than by what we say to do.
Model it. This speaks louder than any words in any lecture you will ever give! 🙂
You can do it! 🙂
Now . . . “MOVE!” 🙂 No – I’m serious. Get going! . . . go love on those kids of yours today!
But come back to visit me again soon! 🙂
What are you going to model this week?
Let me know below! Let’s encourage and challenge each other to create environments that cause our children to THRIVE in their lives!
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