A Good Mother (Are you a good mom?)

You are a GOOD mother!

We all have those days when we feel like we’ve “blown it” as a mom.  But do you ever have one of those days – or maybe it’s even just a moment – when you realize –  you just did something right as a mom – and you feel like a “good” mom? 

You passed the test!  You did a good job!  You were a “good” mom just now!

• You didn’t scream when you wanted to.
• You didn’t take offense when it would have been so easy.
• You didn’t lose your cool, raise your voice or feel your arms reaching out as if to hit something.
• You responded in your “nice voice”.
• You used that self-control God gave us. 🙂
• You remembered to focus on heart connections more than your child’s behavior.
• You let your child “own” his actions and didn’t rescue or excuse them.
• You dealt calmly and lovingly with another person (parent, teacher, or kid) that who might have hurt or upset your child.
• Or maybe – you got out of bed this morning and not only said “Help God!  Help me to be a good mom today.” but you saw the answer to that prayer happen!

I am a GOOD Mother!

I’ve had several instances this past week where I could have really blown it.  I’ve had some where I did.  And then there were some situations where, I wouldn’t have necessarily “blown it” – but it just wouldn’t have been as good as it turned out to be.

Here’s what my week included:

1. A time of prayer, forgiveness, and blessing with my 7 year old, and even breaking off some ungodly beliefs associated with it after she was teased and bullied by an 8 year old on her bus.  (more about this later)
2. A time to come alongside and help a teenage son that realized he had just made a big mistake that might affect the 2nd half of his school year.  (A problem that wasn’t new – but he was just now realizing mom was right.  {Ouch.}  That’s hard – for both of us.  For me, to not say “I told you so. . . If you had only . . . ” which I started to do . . . but to respond with empathy instead.  And for him – to feel the consequences of his actions.)
3. Sibling fights/issues to mediate (not fix or stop!) – and to see love and forgiveness come from them afterwards (and then some – where that didn’t happen!)
4. Consequences lovingly and empathetically allowed/administrated for disobedience. 🙂
5. Consequences dished out in frustration and anger.  🙁
6. School issues addressed with teachers and guidance counselor in an honoring way to all involved (“Mama bear” has to be in a cage for that.).
7. Helping find some help/an answer to ongoing and increasing attention/focusing issues with one of my kids.
8. Having to deal with a long-standing addiction and other issues with one of my kids (not sure I handled that one as well as I have in the past).
9. Choosing to have complete faith and trust in God when He tells me something – even when it relates to money (ie – money we don’t have for something we feel God is telling us to do.).  And teaching and allowing my kids to experience and walk this journey with us – so their faith can be increased as well.
10. Having my kids suddenly hug me and say “I love you” – for no reason at all! 🙂

Slowing down to do the “right” thing

When my 7 year old daughter came home sad from an incident on the bus, I could have easily tried to brush it off as a typical little kid issue and said “I’m sorry he was mean to you.  Maybe he’ll be nicer tomorrow.” – and then gone back to whatever I was doing.  But in taking 30 minutes to talk, hear her heart, tell her how sorry I was for someone being so mean to her, and then teaching and encouraging her about forgiveness and the importance of blessing our enemies – it ended up opening the door for healing in a longer-standing hurt/mis-belief (that “I am dumb”) she had been carrying around.  I saw real deliverance and healing taking place before my eyes!  It was amazing!

During the process of praying for this boy – forgiving and blessing him – she had a very hard time saying “that boy” (we didn’t know his name even).  You could see the spiritual battle going on.  At one point I told her how this will free her (from anger, resentment and the potential for a root of bitterness.  I have a whole “seed” analogy I use that I’ll have to share another time).  In the end – after our prayer time was all done and many tears and “I can’t do it” phrases were spoken. . . I asked her how she felt.  She thought for a moment and said “You were right mom . . . I do feel FREE!”  I asked her how she felt about the boy now – and she said she didn’t feel bad at all – not like before.  🙂  YAY God!

Moments that erase regret

It’s in little moments like that – all by myself with my child – that I think . . . I did the right thing . . . I am a good mom . . . I did a good job today {now, where is everyone, to see it?! :)}.  And for a moment – it erases all the thoughts of regret I’ve had . . . of spending too much time on the computer instead of playing another game of Candy-land . . . of quickly trying to dismiss my child’s emotions (that are often accompanied by nerve-plucking whines) instead of taking the time to acknowledge them – that they are real to my child, and to help her know how to cope with those feelings . . . of spending my days wishing this “season” would be over, and then later regretting that I didn’t enjoy it enough while it was there.

No matter how many times I mess up as a mom (sometimes on a daily or hourly basis) – somehow . . my kids still love me.  Somehow, God is able to redeem and make ALL things new.  Somehow, my kids are turning out to be the FANTASTIC individuals God created them to be!

That is GRACE.

That is MERCY.

That is the Love of God flowing in and through me (and them).  Because on my own . . . I would do it all “wrong”!

Today I had another triumph.

I’m believing for more tomorrow – because each day is a NEW DAY!

• To love when I feel like hating.
• To forgive when I feel like taking revenge.
• To give grace and mercy when I feel like dishing out justice.
• To believe the best about people, even when the worst is quite evident.
• To call out the “gold” in my kids and others I encounter.
• To be a blessing to everyone I meet and in every situation I’m in.
• To trust God (with my kids, finances, marriage, myself, my life, etc!) when I feel doubt and fear creeping in (or taking over!)
• To focus on heart connections and making sure my kid’s “love-tanks” are full and being filled – more than on their negative actions or reactions.
• To speak to everyone with love, honor and respect.
• To treat everyone according to who they are (and not how they act) – as people made in the image of God – worthy of love, honor and respect – because God is worthy of those things – AND because I am loving, honorable and respectful!
• To know that at the core of everyone is the need and desire to be Valued, Loved and Accepted.
• To focus on my successes as a mom instead of the many failures.
• To believe that I truly AM the BEST mom for my kids!

You are too!  You are the BEST mom for your kids!

What triumph (in being a good mother) did you have today?

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